i am intertwined feet and breath hot on napes
too close and yet not close enough
the sliver of sunlight that streams through the window illuminates only parts of me, and never
quite can cover the entirety of my body
to be laid on or to lay, either way
i am closer to the other because our bodies are speaking in vernaculars i have yet to
understand
goosebumps trail along my skins thin surface, speaking feverishly and withdrawn at the same time
these details shyly reveal our affection, from the nervous sweat that pools where our bodies touch to the
hush that falls among my tiny hearts littering our forearms
i am an enveloping slumber bringing solitude and weakening the distraction that is a
cacophony of voices inside my head
the warmth i can feel is enough to ward nightmares for days
weeks
but the cycle always ends and the sun must fall-
as the terrors return as soon as the moments through yet they had never really gone
the terrors of unworthiness
awkwardness
stiff limbs
melt away.
i am
an uncertain certainty
i am wanting you to feel comfortable, catering to your calls and pleased with small
praise
that forms in the soft strokes that ease the
boulders of tension between my shoulder blades
heavy thoughts
slowing gears
My head is clear, safe for the space taken up by this
between us.
for a fraction of the minutes we share,
i am who i want to appear as, safe for the fraction of terrors in the seconds
between us.
