Aquarius: Remember those tuxedo t-shirts? You know the ones. Those are making a comeback and it is all because of you. It’s camp. Wear one to your next formal event. Perhaps even your wedding? You’re brave, you can do it!
Pisces: Chamoy pickle. Eat it. Sleep it. Breathe it.
Aries: Playing the saxophone is an objectively cool thing to do. Don’t hate the player, hate the game. Actually, don’t hate the game at all! Pick up the sax this week. Why not?
Taurus: Who cares if it’s seventy degrees, break out that sweater you thrifted over the summer. I know you’ve been waiting. It’s October, for crying out loud.
Gemini: You can never set too many alarms. Ignore your roommates. Make it a special song while you’re at it. Perhaps… “Beef FloMix” by Flo Milli. Maybe some musical theater?
Cancer: Yesss, it’s time to clean that Owala water bottle!! It’s growing mold!! Maybe more!!
Leo: Utilize the five-second rule this week. It’s not gross if no one’s watching. I trust you.
Virgo: Resist the new weighted stuffed animal drop in Target, you already have one and will feel sad deciding which one to sleep with in fear of making the other feel bad.
Libra: “Joker: Folie à Deux” is not as bad as the internet is telling you it is. Who doesn’t love a musical? Maybe if we normalized singing in public, we’d all appreciate the film a little more. Be the change.
Scorpio: If you find yourself wondering who, what, where, and why on a frequent basis, I think you may be able to find those answers at the bottom of Lake Muhlenberg. Wear swimmies!
Sagittarius: Your Yakarma will skyrocket this week. All you need to do is get creative and let the herd do its thing.
Capricorn: Ever wanted to learn how to fly? Those dorm beds are high enough, just make sure your roommate is there to catch you…just in case…
The Muhlenberg Weekly's Editorial Board is comprised of the Editor-in-Chief, Managing Editor(s) and Section Editors, one of whom writes the editorial. Material appearing without a byline represents the majority opinion of the Editorial Board.
