tired of growing

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why at twenty, do i feel like i done 

all the living i can do for now 

been running my whole life

it feels like fun was for a brief moment.

when i am alone, time is frozen

most of this time i escape into my mind

the world has become too loud.

call me ungrateful, 

but maybe it is all becoming.

use the word maybe cause i know everything, but only when its going my way.

don’t got a clue presently.

all i crave now is my own safety

why she ain’t provide it for me?

been feeling too naked as of lately.

that used to be my armor, 

so maybe i have become irreconcilable.

i grew tired of growing.

it’s exhausting actually.

why can’t we just stay for awhile?

all these phases of losing and gaining,

the repetitive cycle

while the world tells me to hold it

all together.

how good of a front can we put up today?

now maria, you know this not no crying club

no more tissues, he just hand out dubs

too many just like to talk 

but not saying shit, there is no longer any meaning.

and i’m the crazy one? 

the “bitch” that like to talk a lot.

found myself catching my breath 

to see what happens when i let go.

this time my heart beats slower 

am i still too smart for my own good?

twenty oh twenty, 

babygirl you right where you supposed to be.

just don’t get too lost on your way to victory.

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