My cells remember the feeling well
A black hole formed in the center of my sternum and
crushed all I knew
That sense of suffocating terror
Terror interlaced with grief
I longed for the beam of the moon to carry me away and hold me
I longed for something light to keep my skin in place
(gently and grotesquely falling apart)
This isn’t naturally mine but was gifted to me
by the Pupils and Blood of my Black Mothers and Fathers and Peoples
It’s a gift wrapped with protection
I forgot how heavy it sits in my stomach
How colorless yet
colorful the smears are
Can I carry it alone?
help me hold my tears
help me release my tears
help me breathe it all
hold the weight of my melanated flesh
I beg you cuz I can’t bare to do it alone
