Tectonic Shifts

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My cells remember the feeling well

A black hole formed in the center of my sternum and 

crushed all I knew

That sense of suffocating terror

Terror interlaced with grief

I longed for the beam of the moon to carry me away and hold me

I longed for something light to keep my skin in place

           (gently and grotesquely falling apart)

 This isn’t naturally mine but was gifted to me

by the Pupils and Blood of my Black Mothers and Fathers and Peoples

It’s a gift wrapped with protection

I forgot how heavy it sits in my stomach

How colorless yet

colorful the smears are

Can I carry it alone?

 help me hold my tears

help me release my tears

help me breathe it all

hold the weight of my melanated flesh

I beg you cuz I can’t bare to do it alone

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