It’s the middle of the summer and as the fireworks spit their loud cracks I wonder why I don’t do the same.
I’ve been questioning why I’ve been questioning myself for a while and haven’t seemed to find an answer.
As my eyes pool with tears and my nose drips
I continue asking myself
Why?
How can I give love when I’m still learning to give it to myself? How can I ask for healing from someone when I haven’t let myself heal? I want so badly to feel safe
that the thought of a safety net sickens me.
I’ve become so comfortable in discomfort that warmth has begun to feel like ice. I fear that it is too late for me.
I’ve been telling myself this lie since I learned of its power.
So much so that I’ve told myself it is the truth.
How to reverse a belief you’ve constructed for yourself over years.
Love,
A concerned owner of this body
