It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s a drone!


Yes, you read that right. We’re talking about drones today. This is my big real adult article and if you can’t handle that then you can find the door. In case you haven’t heard of them, drones are basically those fly boys everyone loves from Tom Cruise’s finest film, “Top Gun,” except there are no boys and they are approximately the size of that box that is in the corner of my room. Next is figuring out what they do; drones are often used by the military for some stuff that I’m not sure about, probably dropping bombs on enemies of the US. But they are also used by Jeff Bezos to deliver his goods to those Amazon Prime members that lord their membership over us normal amazon members. And some drones are owned by private owners who think terrorizing normal college students is funny and won’t let me sleep.

But that’s beside the point. This article is about whether or not drones are ethical in the military and all that junk, it is not about one drone owner who has been tormenting this poor boy for the past two weeks and who is too much of a coward to actually face me. So, drones are probably used to drop bombs on some people in some places, I mean there’s a war going on, right? Wait, is there a war? I just looked it up and apparently, we are in like three wars. When did that happen? Wow, maybe the article should be that. No, this is an article about the ethics of drone use, both in the private sector and in the public sector. Are drones too dangerous for them to be allowed into the hands of just about anyone? I’d argue yes, since they all have the capability to drop bombs.

Let’s start with their use by the military. I’ve heard that drones are good because no one gets hurt when they are used instead of planes. But that can’t be true, someone has to get hurt, right? I mean, it’s war. I looked it up and none of our fly boys get hurt but the guys we are fighting, in fact, do get hurt. That’s good, right? Less people getting hurt is always good. This problem can’t be that easy, drones are a hot button political issue today there must be something else to this.

I just looked it up (also I’m gonna do a quick plug for Wikipedia because that’s where I found all this info so check them out and apparently they need donations so please donate to them to keep Wikipedia free) anyway, supposedly a lot of innocent people die because of drones and that’s not good. That’s pretty sad. Now, with further research, it turns out that a lot of innocent people were often killed before we used drones too, so maybe the issue we should be talking about isn’t drones but it’s war; whether or not we should be in these wars or how we conduct ourselves in these wars. That’s what the article should be about, except that’s a pretty sad topic and I think I’m too far into the article to change what it’s about, so I guess I’ll get back to drones.

Let’s talk about drones used by private citizens, is this cool? Many say no, but some say yes. Some people use drones for pictures, which I’m sure is fine. Unless they get in other people’s pictures, in which case that would be bad. Then the responsibility is on the drone owner to not get in the way of things, but how would they do that? That is not a rhetorical question, I actually am not sure how someone operating a drone would be able to stay out of people’s way.

Actually, now that I think about it, I’m not sure how drones work. Do you have to wear one of those VR helmets? If so, that begs the question, how do you know that your drone is actually flying around and not just trapped in the VR zone? That’s a gamble I think no one should take, which is why I’ve come to the conclusion that drones should be outlawed, for the protection of those who may accidentally believe that they are peering into the real world but are instead seeing some wacky backwards VR version of the world.

So now, I am calling all to action. Let us free these drone owners from themselves. At 2:00 a.m. this Wednesday, I am staging a protest under Victor’s Lament where we shall ride together and take down the drones that are holding their owners’ prisoner and tormenting us. I will supply the rocks and the softballs, you, my loyal fans, will supply the muscle and together we will take down each and every single drone of the face of this planet, starting with the one that’s been following me for the past two weeks. Hold on, it has a note attached to it, the note reads “Do not resist. Call off the protest” and then my home address and a picture of my illegitimate son, if you are reading this Douglas I love you very much. I’ll still be at the protest, our voices must be heard, if anything happens to my illegitimate son whom I love very much, I will be devastated, but this issue is more important than any one person.

If you’d like to join the rebellion or like the article or just want to chat, please contact me on facebook.


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People look at me as some big shot writer, but I’m still the same wisecracking kid from Abington looking for the answers to life’s big questions. Am I a hero for writing truth through my articles? I wouldn’t say that, but I would force others to say it. If I had to describe myself in two words, they would have to be Will and Wamser. If you would like to get to know me a little better, or even just wax poetic on a few topics, you can find me at, thank you and namaste.


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