How does an era come to its end? How do you wrap up a legacy with a finely knit bow? How do you say goodbye when you aren’t ready to go? Some might say you do it with grace, dignity and poise. But those people never met me.

I AM the Muhlenberg Weekly. For the past two years I have given everything to this paper as the acting Op/Ed (I actually just found out that stands for Opinions and Editorials, they say we teach our kids but in reality, they teach us) Section Editor. Do you know how much blood, sweat and tears I put into this paper? Not literally of course, but I have been sweating blood from my eyes every day since gaining this position and yet no doctor will see me, coincidence? Probably. Countless nights I spent hand printing these issues only for the “Editor in Cheese” to distribute the ones we paid to be printed by a professional who uses fancy machines. I have never once been respected in my time here and this is what it has all come to.

In case you’re too dull to figure it out, I’m out. They are booting me for a younger model. After this issue I will no longer be working for this lose-paper in any way, except for occasionally writing. The second it became ‘inconvenient’ for this sham of snooze-paper to keep me around they ‘kindly’ ‘asked’ ‘me’ to ‘leave.’ A boy, keep in mind that I am just a boy, makes one measly mistake and he gets the can for it? It’s. Not. My. Fault. That. I. Brought. Measles. To. The. Office! Get over it already Brooke, be an adult. I already said I would apologize, so why am I seeing any consequences for my actions?

Let me spell it out for all you jagweeds who think you’re better than me for not bringing a largely eradicated infectious disease into the world. I would be happy to apologize to anyone who actually cares. I am a person who was cool enough to bribe my way to becoming the Op/Ed (Opinions and Editorials) section editor for the Muhlenberg Weekly, no one can take that away from me. In a lifetime you can only do so much and you can only pretend to apologize so many times. That is why I’m flipping the script. Despite being forced to step down, I am quitting. That’s right, I won’t take your fifth severance package, I will walk out of Muhlenberg Weekly office one last time with my head held high knowing that I stood up for myself and did what was write.

Sometimes in life you have to stand up to those oppressing you. Don’t get me wrong, the Muhlenberg Weekly is amazing and the best organization I could have joined. I honestly couldn’t have asked for a better opportunity to grow than the one I got when I was asked to become a section editor. But at the same time, the Muhlenberg Weekly used its power to keep me down. I have no examples of them doing this, so you are just going to have to trust me. That is why with the final issue of this semester and the final issue in my heart, I say this to the Muhlenberg Weekly; thank you and eff you! You’ll never find another bad boy to rule your paper like I did. 

People look at me as some big shot writer, but I’m still the same wisecracking kid from Abington looking for the answers to life’s big questions. Am I a hero for writing truth through my articles? I wouldn’t say that, but I would force others to say it. If I had to describe myself in two words, they would have to be Will and Wamser. If you would like to get to know me a little better, or even just wax poetic on a few topics, you can find me at, thank you and namaste.



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