Hey besties! Welcome to this week’s edition of Paige’s Page. This week has brought a lot of ups and downs for me personally, but I think that’s because we are now entering libra season and that is the name of their game. This week it looks like you are all feeling a bit introspective. Maybe it’s the alumni coming back that has made you think that your life might end when we walk out of the red doors of this fine institution, or the premature burnout before we all come back to life just before fall break. And with that let’s go!
Hi, Paige! I’m a freshman and I was wondering if you had any advice on how I could make the most of my college experience.
Hey bestie! Welcome to Muhlenberg! This is a really tough question to answer because being here looks so different for everyone. Because a global pandemic took a lot of time from my real college experience, I think that you have a lot more to do than I ever could have. There are so many ways I could go about answering this question because I feel as though I have lived so many lives here. Okay, here are my tips for you, enjoy!
- Try everything! Right now going to introductory club meetings, random freshmen events or hall events can feel overwhelming and some of you may think you’re too cool for that, but I promise you, you’re not. You never know where you can find some of your favorite people and they may be in the places you least expect.
- Don’t over commit yourself too soon. I came on campus and I joined like three clubs (that I would go to regularly) and it was the best choice I made because I knew I needed to adjust and that overextending myself so early on was going to be something that made me repress my feelings and not allow me to learn who I am in this space.
- The hall bathroom is the hottest club in town. Literally talk to everyone. Your neighbors can be your built-in best friends and besides, they will probably see you at your worst so at the very least, be nice.
- Do things that take you out of your comfort zone and challenge you to be a better version of yourself. I waited until this semester to do this, and sometimes it’s nice to be the worst in the room at something because it can help you grow, not just as a student, but in all aspects of your life.
- Find a space that you consider your second home, a place where you can go to just relax and be free when you want to be alone in a place other than your dorm room. There are a million on this campus, finding yours may take time but there is one for you.
- Stop caring. What other people think of you or the things you do is none of your concern. The second you lose interest in what other people think about you, you will feel infinitely better about any decisions you make.
Hi Paige, like you I am a very confident person, but I feel like a lot of the time this is used against me when I don’t feel my best. Does this happen to you and how do you get past it without holding a grudge on your less secure friends?
Hey bestie, I really do understand what you mean. Unfortunately, it is something that happens to come with being perceived as a confident person. When people feel insecure or upset they crave validation. And you, as a confident person, are able to validate yourself in a lot of ways. However, as you and I both know, it’s not that simple. We need validation from others sometimes too. The way you feel is always valid, even if the people you confide in don’t see it that way. Everyone goes through things, and while you are perceived as being well equipped to handle really hard things on your own, like brushing off harsh words, or a rejection or an incident that made you feel badly, it’s okay to want help. It’s okay to ask your friends to listen to you and validate you. If they don’t, you do not owe them the validation they feel that they need. Weaponizing another person’s confidence as a way for someone, likely an insecure person, to bring themselves up is really gross. It can be hard to not hold things like that against them, so telling them or setting boundaries yourself can be really productive. Asking for space and time to process your own feelings can also help because we all need to get over this hump eventually, if you can’t trust them to help you and you need to do it alone, they can not stop you from taking that time. Your confidence is something they wish they had, because they think it would fix every problem. It’s not your fault that they’re wrong.
Hey Paige! This semester has not gone anything at all like I wanted or planned for it to. How do I stop myself from being disappointed about being here?
Hi bestie, I’m sorry that things aren’t going how you want them to. Unfortunately you can’t control everything, even though you really, really, really want to. If you had asked me this question anytime before this semester, I would have said, ‘it’s okay you still have time,’ or ‘there’s always next semester.’ Unfortunately for me, that is not the case. If that applies to you, take it with you on your journey. Take control in ways that you can, initiate plans, create time for yourself, spend time with people that ground you and bring you back on track. If you’re like me and you don’t have another semester, write your story yourself. Do anything you want because the worst thing that can happen is that you have to deal with minor consequences for a number of weeks which I refuse to acknowledge for my own mental health. Cancel the plans you made in your head of how things were supposed to be. Start over.
Keep your eye out for Paige’s Page Live, date and location coming soon!
You can submit questions to https://tinyurl.com/paigespagequestion. It will also be linked in my Instagram bio— @paigeweisburg and in The Muhlenberg Weekly Instagram Linktree.
