girlhood

i am 13 again 

beads scattered on the carpet

friendship bracelets reaffirming what i had let go

what i had distanced myself from

i am 10 again

we’re at summer camp

the boy you like runs by as we split a snack

we exchange giddy looks

an exuberant laugh forces its way through my lips

blissfully unaware

i am 8 again 

we’re mermaids with chlorine-soaked braids

nothing is more important 

we reluctantly reapply our sunscreen 

these moments morph into decades 

but our divine feminine friendship never ceases 

i hurt, i bleed, i purge

but i see you and i am her again 

watered down juice boxes and dirt-stained gymboree shorts

taylor swift singalongs and photo booth strips with crooked teeth smiles 

that girl is still in me 

and i see her so clearly when i’m with you