I get off the J train
Pocket buzzing
Mom tells me to get home
Safely so I untuck
My shirt pull it
Over my hips
I reach the corner
Traffic light changes
And the race
To get home
Unscathed
Begins
My body tenses
With every body I pass
With every leer from the men
Who sit in front of barber shops
Restaurants bodegas
Who blast reggaeton
Through off-brand speakers
And laugh with beer bottles in hand
I wish I loved that laugh
Eyes dizzy
1, 2, 3, and 4
with the colors of concrete
5, 6, 7, and 8
I remind myself
Of the rules
Always keep your head down
But always look behind you
Walk so fast your hips won’t have time to sway
But don’t walk so fast that you gain attention
Walk so fast they can’t see your mascara
But slow enough that they can see you scowl
Behind me I hear the J train
And I wish I could get back on
Transfer to the L
Get off at Bedford
And walk those gentrified streets
Where there aren’t enough shadows
For men to lurk
And grab me by the shirt
tucked into my jeans
But no.
Feet unrelenting
I turn onto my street
I count
1, 2, 3, and 4
5, 6, 7, and 8
And finally
I make it to my block
Where all the houses
That are not houses
Tall, pressed together
Leave
No room to hide
From men who watch my curly hair
Bounce with every step I take
And wonder what else about me bounces
I have mastered the art of
Turning my head
Without turning my head
But I see you
I know you’re watching me
But you’re too late
I reach my front steps
Fit the key in the lock
Step inside my home
Win the race
And deadbolt the door
