Hey, besties! Welcome back to this week’s edition of Paige’s Page. This week something is in the air—and it may or may not be COVID (so stay safe out there)—but also LOVE! Valentine’s Day is just around the corner; so, if you have that special someone, I hope you are getting ready for a lovely February 14th. But if you are like me and you are single for the 21st Valentine’s Day in a row, I’m sure you are just so excited to see all of these happy couples clogging your Instagram feed while you wait patiently to buy all of the discount chocolate your heart desires on the 15th. All jokes aside, even as a single person, I like Valentine’s Day. I’m a hopeless romantic that loves the color pink and craves the nostalgia of an elementary school brown paper bag filled to the brim with cheesy valentines. I have a fun and festive outfit picked out… and no one on Muhlenberg’s campus is ready. This week’s questions are for everyone, those with a valentine and those without one because this is an equal opportunity advice column. Let’s get into these questions.
Hey, Paige! What do I get a new partner for Valentine’s Day?
Hi, bestie, love this question! I think with a new partner you need to tread lightly when it comes to gift-giving. I think that when you are just starting a new relationship with someone, especially right now when there is so much pressure on romance and spontaneity, it can place an unrealistic expectation on both partners to get the best gift or be the best partner on a day that is meant to celebrate your feelings for one another. I would steer clear of getting something super cliché because I hate that, but your partner may not. I think more personal and meaningful gifts are better, like flowers, or your partner’s favorite candy/snack, and maybe something they have been talking about with you. My favorite gifts to get are experiences. Take them to dinner, do a fun activity with them, plan a romantic night in or show them you care with your actions. I am sure they will appreciate whatever you do so don’t stress about something like this. It’s just some random day in February.
Hi, Paige! I’m 20 years old and I’ve never kissed anyone and society makes me feel weird about that. I know that this is not necessarily a bad thing, but I can’t help feeling like I am behind. How can I stop feeling weird about this?
Hey, bestie! Thank you so much for being so vulnerable by asking this question. I think that you are right. We are told as kids that by college we should be further along in our romantic and sexual experience than many people are. We are made to feel slower or underdeveloped because we may not know how to navigate college hookup culture, nor do many of us truly want to. All of that is to say you are not alone and you are not weird for having never kissed anyone. Some people make this out to be some small thing, but—to some— firsts are so important to human development, and seeing things like this as a milestone can stop you from exploring new things because breaking out of your comfort zone is scary and hard. I think the most important thing to recognize is that you are not the only person that is 20 and has not had this experience. Also being vulnerable in any capacity with another person who you may not know or be comfortable with is extremely difficult, and you have all of the time in the world. Do not rush yourself. Wait until you are comfortable and the person you are with makes you feel comfortable, and that is true with everything, whether romantically, sexually or even socially. You can take risks and try new things but do it because you want to and not because you feel like you have to. There is no rush, go easy on yourself.
Hi Paige, I like my friend but I think I accidentally friend-zoned him. He calls me bro casually. I can tell that there is something there and I know he can too but I don’t know if he will ever make a move. What do I do?
Hey, bestie! This is so relatable, wow. Before I get into answering this question I would like to make a PSA to the men of Muhlenberg College: STOP CALLING PEOPLE THAT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN BRO/DUDE, etc. IT’S SO CONFUSING! This is a self-call-out also because “bestie” just so happens to transcend this column… Alright, now that that is out of the way, back to the question. I am a very assertive person so usually if I am interested in someone, I think they know (for the most part), and if you enjoy communicating your feelings with people, just tell him you like him. If you are not, you can wait it out, and maybe he will surprise you and tell you how he feels. I would like to think it’s not that difficult to get out of the friendzone, and I am yet to be correct about that, but the worst thing that can happen is that he doesn’t feel the same way… which will hurt… a lot. And then you can move on. But I think it is always worse to not try because then you will never know how he feels, and you could be missing out on something really great.
You can submit questions to https://tinyurl.com/paigespagequestion. It will also be linked in my Instagram bio: @paigeweisburg and in The Muhlenberg Weekly Instagram Linktree @bergweekly.
