Tiny horoscopes for a tiny campus

Weekly advice and predictions

Communicated to The Weekly staff by Victor’s Lament.

Students of Muhlenberg College, we are back. 

Aquarius: You were a horse girl as a child, weren’t you? #equestriansrise

Pisces: Make sure you do the liberal arts 360 spin next time you’re gossiping. You need it. 

Aries: Spring break will be a global experience. Get ready to visit the seven wonders of your childhood bedroom. 

Taurus: Get yourself a chocolate chip cookie from D-Hall. It has your name all over it

Gemini: You are single-handedly bringing sexy back and we all applaud you for it. 

Cancer: I’m sorry they make fun of your peanut allergy. I know they drive you nuts.

Leo: Please be sure to avoid any pizza slice with specialty toppings… 

Virgo: Whip out the hot glue. It’s time to craft. It might help the voices. 

Libra: Start winking with your left eye. Gain some new perspective. 

Scorpio: The recent sun has been killing your mystique. Take a walk through the art gallery to regain your coolness. 

Sagittarius: Your finishing time for the NYT mini tomorrow will be an angel number. You’re gonna think this means something. You’re gonna sit there all day waiting for a text back, or that grade you’re dreading. Stop. It means nothing. Go play Connections. 

Capricorn: Spring is coming: teary eyed showers bring soft pillow flowers. Oh and check for dust bunnies under the bed too <3

Megan Hansen '26 is an opinion editor and writer studying film, theater, and writing. She is very excited to be working on the Weekly staff, helping to amplify the voices of her fellow classmates. You may also find her working behind the scenes with the Muhlenberg Theater Association, writing and directing short films, or even on a volleyball court in the fieldhouse on a random Tuesday night!

Emily Nally ‘27 is an English and creative writing major with a minor in English literature. She is an assistant editor for the Campus Voices section and is so excited to be a part of such an immersive organization on campus. Outside of the Weekly, you can find Emily rereading "Little Women," binge watching "Gilmore Girls," or being really cool practicing her flute and guitar.


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