We are hot off of the tail of the greatest holiday there is. The only problem is this isn’t just one day, but it sure as heck is holi. No, this holiday is a whole week long. I am of course talking about SPRING BREAK, let me hear you cheer. Spring Bis the time for jocks, nerds and goths alike to let loose and break free from societal norms. Spring Break is full of magic, it is the one time of the year where drinking all day is not considered sad but is actually encouraged, I guess except for St. Patrick’s Day, Mardi Gras, New Year’s Eve, Octoberfest, and Fourth of July to name a few. But the point is that on Spring Break it is also O.K. to drink a copious amount of alcohol and take dangerous party drugs. Spring Break is a time for everyone to come together, both hot dudes and hot chicks alike, and this year I was finally able to participate in the festivities.
My father is a preacher man and was never much for saying ‘I love you.’ He never allowed me to leave our gated community, NYC represent, but now that we are estranged for reasons I can but won’t go into I am living my life to the fullest. The first step of living life was embracing Spring Break, so I went to the capital of Spring Break and party central, Daytona Beach. Now there were definitely some good things and some not so good things about Spring Break at Daytona Beach, hanging out with my whole dang crew getting lifted out of this freaking world and back again was obviously a big up to the whole thing. I didn’t love that there were no cups available to drink from, everything had to either come from a funnel or off of a woman’s breasts, stomach or buttocks. As a Christian boy, let’s just say I went in thirst.
That is not to say that I didn’t love Spring Break, because I did. I saw and experienced things I had only ever read about from half burned Hustler magazines I would find in the quarry, #sponsoredpost. Spring Break is truly the time to let loose and free yourself of all pressures from societal norms. This is especially true for women, I have never seen so many women with so few inhibitions. I hate to go blue here, but many of the women wore little to no clothing, instead using the a combination of mud and leaves to stay warm at night. Women also got creative with their makeup, instead of seeing the same old foundation and mascara, most of the women covered themselves in the blood of animals that they had killed for sustenance. And anytime that isn’t Spring Break there is so much pressure on women to eat the right things, but for this one week I saw women eating raw meat and eating out of trash cans, you go girl! They were wild animals! They were actually acting a lot like a wild animal would now that I think about it.
Now don’t get me wrong, the men also had their fun. Their fun was mostly encouraging the women to act in these ways. I can’t tell you how many times I came upon a bunch of guys surrounding and cheering on two women going at it. The women were usually fighting over who had claim to a section of the beach and the winner was only decided with blood and the dudes loved it. There were actually a group of men with a camera going around asking these women to bear their teeth for the camera and would give them a skinned rabbit if they did it.
As much as the women were letting loose, it seemed like the guys were the ones really enjoying themselves. I’m certain there were some women there who were living in the woods for themselves, rummaging through trash cans for themselves, howling at the moon for themselves. But I also have to wonder how many of the woman were reverting to their animal instincts because it was the thing to do. There was one woman who kept using human language rather than communicating with a series of grunts, snorts and hisses. She was ridiculed relentlessly by all us boys until she was banned from the beach for life. These girls did gone feral, but at the end of the week most of the women left bruised and scarred, often at the hands women as the men cheered on, but the men walked away unharmed.
