This is very hard for me to talk about. I cannot tell you how many times something has happened to me just because I’m Black. I have tried not to think about each and every experience because nothing good would come from it. Every time a racist event occurs, I try to shove down the emotions associated with it. I don’t want to feel the heaviness, the sorrow, the disappointment, the ignorance. I don’t, I really don’t want to feel any of that. A microaggression is said to me everyday. What do I do? I laugh and laugh, then, I correct, I educate, I teach. I laugh not because it’s funny, but because I’m tired. I’m tired of my skin color being seen as lesser. I’m tired of people being disrespectful and ignorant. I’m tired of everything. Like I said, there are just too many events that have occurred, so now I’m just exhausted. You may ask, why teach those who are ignorant? I teach not because I want to, but I teach to educate. I teach so people can understand that I am human too. I need people to understand that just because we have different skin colors does not mean we are inhuman. No, it is not my job to teach, nor do I like it, but it is essential, and that’s why I do it.
With the huge spark of police brutality caught on camera and non-Black people now realizing that Black people have NOT been lying about how we’ve been abused, I have grown so frustrated and sad. Seeing my beautiful Black sisters, brothers, and nonbinary siblings being brutalized everyday is just sickening. We saw on our social media, Black people being killed, as if they were being slaughtered at a slaughterhouse like animals. My people are shown on TV for two main reasons: one, for being dehumanized, and two, we’re the entertainment. It is so frustrating how Black people’s lives are being lost due to ignorance. Black people are literally seen as the bottom of the barrel, like no one wants anything to do with us for some “unknown” reason. I have never felt so scared in my life, NEVER. There is a genocide going on in the US. Black people are being killed daily by the police, being wrongly accused of a crime and being sentenced to jail for life so they can just rot in there. Civilians are taking matters into their own hands, and are taking out the trash, also known as Black people.
I have never let people’s comments, remarks, bullying, ignorance get to me. But this time in history, right now, what we’re facing… it’s been hard to stand up. It’s been hard to get up when we, as a people, have been knocked down so many times. Sometimes, you get to the point where you question if dismantling the systems, fighting racism, and getting your needs met by colleges is even worth it. I have to tell myself every single day that what I’m doing will help. That what I’m doing will change how people look at us and perceive us. That the exhaustion I face from working twice as hard as a white person just to be seen, not even in a fair light, but just to step out of the shadow, is even worth it. Well, is it? Are my Black siblings’ efforts worth it to you? Are my Black siblings’ lives worth it to you? ARE THEY? If so, you better act like it. Show us that you care about us. Show us that you support us. Show us that you know that we’re human. Show us unconditional love. Please, just please, show us that you care and that you know we are ALL fighting for change together. We need your help. I, Giovanni, welcome you always to stand with us. I love you all. Peace and love. Stay safe.
