Aquarius: The pie you will make tomorrow will be SOUR. Please don’t throw your GUTS up.
Pisces: Go find yourself a Gemini.
Aries: I think it’s about time you got your drivers license. No more calling yo Uber.
Taurus: If you are planning to go abroad next semester. Embrace the “so american” comments diva.
Gemini: Look for a Pisces…I think you might go really nice together.
Cancer: Maybe don’t get Taco Bell again tomorrow. We think it’s a bad idea. Right?
Leo: Book that flight to Japan and take that Eurostar to France.
Virgo: Stop scrolling…You’re gonna have maggots for brains.
Libra: You seem pretty sad for a girl in a pink wig. But a great way to match with that Baja Blast.
Scorpio: U + Him = a situationship. Raise those expectations.
Sagittarius: Next week you will order a sophisticated latte to go with your sophisticated eyeliner. There may be purple cold foam on it. Don’t be alarmed.
Capricorn: You’re on a roll…They can’t catch you now.
