Paige’s Page

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Hey besties! Welcome to this week’s edition of Paige’s Page! As Sorority and Fraternity formal season is coming to a close, it appears that love, like spring, has sprung upon many of you. Unfortunately, based on the questions for this week, it appears as though things are not going great for a lot of you. That’s okay! I went to two formals and the only love I found was an increased appreciation for a supportive pair of shoes. Beauty is pain, and I looked absolutely stunning. This week, as you probably could have guessed, we are talking about relationships. I love this topic, so let’s get started!

Hi Paige! I’m sick of rejection but I feel like if I stop trying then I am giving up on love. Help?

Hey, bestie! I am so sorry that this is happening to you! Rejection is the worst feeling, probably ever. It comes with a lot of personal critiques and a lot of negative self-analysis. It makes you question if you even understand even a little bit about the things you do and the way that you do them. It can make you feel crazy for putting yourself out there. Please, if you gain absolutely nothing else from what I have to say, know that what you are thinking and feeling is not crazy, your feelings are valid and you may need to validate them yourself. I know it can be really scary and uncomfortable to continue to try to be open to putting yourself in that situation again after this happens. I think that, ultimately, continuing to try to accept love and appreciation is the hardest part. Placing yourself in that situation again, after a rejection, knowing the feelings you felt the last time are feelings you may possibly feel again, is the most anxiety-provoking experience. But proving to yourself that you can be open again with your actions makes you so incredibly strong. You shouldn’t stop trying and you don’t have to. But taking a break to learn about yourself and grow as an individual is always a great idea. If anything, it will make you a stronger person who is more open and accepting of the love you deserve. Don’t stop trying. I really, really hate the saying that love just comes when you aren’t looking for it. That’s not true, love comes when you can love yourself and have the space in your heart to want to grow with another person. Never stop wanting to follow your own heart, it will guide you in whatever way it needs to in order for you to be the person you are meant to be. 

Hey Paige, whenever I see a person I previously hooked up with it’s always super awkward. How do I make it less awkward? 

Hi bestie, I hate to break this to you, but that is not possible if both of you can’t not be awkward. That elephant is always going to be in the room, you can address it if you think that would help with the weird tension, but odds are you don’t want to do that. You really have to either pretend in your own head that it didn’t happen so you don’t make yourself feel weird, or you need to just not think about it. Yes, this school is small but that does not mean you have to be weird to someone that you had a shared experience with. Leave it as an unspoken thing, don’t look at them when you’re walking through the dining hall, don’t go out of your way to ask them how they’re doing, just do what you have to do to get through each day. We are all adults, we can move on from things. Find something that gives you the ick about them, maybe you watched them eat yogurt in public once (this is a new ick I discovered I had last week) or maybe you didn’t, but you can pretend you did. Now things aren’t awkward, it’s funny because, like, ew. If you don’t make things awkward, they are not awkward. You got this! 

Hi Paige, one of my friends recently got into a relationship, before this we would see each other basically every day, and now we barely speak. It’s really frustrating because I miss them. What should I do? 

Hey bestie, this is really difficult. I have dealt with this a lot; many times, people are so excited when they get into relationships to have a person they can be with all the time and do anything with. Unfortunately, people tend to get caught up in that and unintentionally cut out the other people that they care about. Having never been in a relationship, I have a really hard time grasping how one can’t be a good significant other and a good friend at the same time. The way I view my relationships with other people is that you should be able to have intimate, personal and beautiful moments with your friends as well as your significant other(s). Maintaining strong relationships with people close to you is super important. Honestly, the person you may be with right now may not be your person forever, actually, more likely than not, they won’t be. Friends can be forever, friends are always there. I’m sorry your friend is having a hard time understanding this right now, because clearly you care so much about this relationship. I would continue to try to make plans, and if they are not making themself available for you after a few tries, I would take a minute before trying again. I’m sure they want to spend time with you too, but they may just be caught up in the newness of their relationship. Tell them you miss them, and that you love them, they’ll say it back. 

You can submit questions to https://tinyurl.com/paigespagequestion. It will also be linked in my Instagram bio— @paigeweisburg and in the Muhlenberg Weekly Instagram Linktree.

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