I don’t know how to start this article. I don’t know how to talk about this. I am not lying when I say that this is the most difficult article I have ever had to write. For those who haven’t heard the news, Jeff Goldblum is cancelled. In a recent interview with the British newspaper the i, Jeff Goldblum said this about Woody Allen: “I would consider working with him again, until I learned something more (negative),” Woody Allen being the man who certainly molested his adoptive daughter Dylan Farrow. Woody Allen is a terrible disgusting person, but that is not the point of this article. The point of this article is that Jeff Goldblum is cancelled; how do we keep going?
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express what an amazing influence and role model Jeff Goldblum has been to me throughout my life. Growing up into now, I modelled who I am after them. They were always the absolute funniest. Jeff Goldblum was always good for a laugh. But it was more than just being funny; their jokes were often prompts for humor as well. Jeff Goldblum would say something funny and I could always build from there and develop the joke, which did a lot in making me feel funny. I also love movies, tv shows and podcasts. And all of my favorites have strong associations with Jeff Goldblum. And anytime I saw something new, I went straight to them for their opinion and thoughts. It’s been hard to watch new movies and listen to new podcasts knowing I can’t have their thoughts. I can’t share it with them and they can’t share anything with me again.
Jeff Goldblum also helped me to enjoy bad things too. They introduced me to so many terrible movies that I love and that are so much fun. So much of who I am came from Jeff Goldblum, Would I be the leftist democratic socialist I am without their influence? Would I be using writing to express myself and grow? Would I be as thoughtful about what actions I took and words I used? Would I want to make the same difference in the world that I do? I don’t know, but it doesn’t feel like it.
It’s not like I didn’t know this was a possibility. I knew the situation. I know who Jeff Goldblum is. I know he is an old, rich white man. I know that means that cancellation is a possibility. I used to make myself think about what if this happened, just in case it did, in the hopes that I would be more prepared. But you can’t be prepared for something like this. And it doesn’t go away. This is the world we live in now. This one interview made my entire world something different, but nothing has changed. I feel like I want to tell everyone.
How can people act normal when I have lost someone who meant everything to me? When people get cancelled you hear that there has to be this “new normal.” The problem right now is that any feeling of normal makes me sick. Normal has never felt so strange. It is really hard when your entire world stops, but everyone else is exactly the same.
I know what we have to do. We have to just keep going. Keep moving and working through it. There is nothing to do about it: Jeff Goldblum is cancelled and that is our reality. But it doesn’t seem to be helping. I’m just going forward with no end in sight because I know that I have to because I know the world isn’t going to stop to let me deal with this cultural loss. But it’s so hard when nothing feels worthwhile anymore. I’m supposed to write a paper about a poem I don’t care about? Why should I waste my time? It’s within moments like these where you have to slow down and evaluate what you are doing. A lot of what I’m doing feels like nothing. But it’s something. And they say that’s good.
I feel like there is no way to end an article like this, there is no take away to be had. I can say just keep going and you just have to move forward, but it doesn’t help to hear. If anyone has any advice for continuing forward, just let me know. But I know there is nothing to say. Jeff Goldblum was truly a light in this world. They touched everyone they came in contact with because they cared. The world is a little dimmer now that Jeff Goldblum has been cancelled. All I can do is hold onto the time we had and the things I learned and hope to be the light they were for someone else. I miss you.