I like to think of myself as a normal, fun-loving guy who likes to try new things. For guys like me, this time of year, also known as “spooky season,” is the best time of year. It is a time where people are willing to put pumpkin in anything, and that, my friends, is very cool. So in honor, or should I say horror, of spooky season, I dedicated my time to trying some fun spooky season things so that you don’t have to! I made a little list of all the things I would try and got to work. First on the list was to throw a big costume party. I set up the facebook event and everything was going smoothly. That is until I realized I didn’t have a slogan! Every great party needs a slogan! Now, while my slogan was amazing and very funny, I can’t tell you here because I’m afraid you’ll steal it from me, ya lil thief.
Now, I needed a costume. I decided on a Cats costume, mostly because I really loved the trailer for the new Cats movie (did you see how well the CGI was done? Jeez, so good), but also because it served a very vital purpose. So the day of the party rolls around and I am eating hair all day long, like a good cat would. Friends started arriving and all was going well; this is actually really fun and you should definitely try this one for spooky season!
Around midway through the party, I gathered everyone in the living room for the ceremonial hairball! For those of you who don’t know what a ceremonial hairball is, then I don’t know how you’ve made it this far in life. Essentially, a ceremonial hairball is just that, dummy; I hock up a hairball and all my friends love it, any more questions??
Next on my list was a corn maze! I went down to the local pumpkin patch and paid for my entry into the corn maze. Now, this is a message of warning to you readers looking to try this for yourselves: don’t. I was genuinely scared and was in constant fear for my life. If you decide to partake in this festive activity, watch out for He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (Voldemort). He comes out of nowhere, peeking his head through the corn stalks asking if you’re Harry Potter. To which you will respond, “No, I’m a cat, meow.” He will then proceed to give you a kiss on the cheek and drop a penny in your pocket for your troubles. At this point I started running and screaming, in hopes that I would eventually find my way out, which I did (probably).
Next on my list was to try one of those Pumpkin Spice Lattes the kids are always raving about. I made my way over to Starbucks, but watch out because the traffic was horrible (ugh!). Once I got there I saw a familiar face. The man himself, Cedric Diggory, was also ordering a Pumpkin Spice Latte! So, if you try this, be sure to tell Cedric, “Hey buddy, hopefully you’re doing well, head to the hedge maze when you get a chance. xoxo.”
After that is said and done, you will finally get your hands on my first Pumpkin Spice Latte. I took a sip of the sweet, sweet nectar. It was pure bliss, and it will be for you too. Soon after that life-changing moment you will begin to have trouble breathing; you will figure it is just the latte, taking your breath away once again. Sadly, this is not the case as you and I end up passing out and waking up in a hospital bed. Apparently we are allergic to Pumpking sweetness. Luckily, this provides a perfect opportunity to check off the last item on our list!
The final item on my list was to give out candy to little trick-or-treaters! I felt like I needed to make a difference in the lives of our youth and really create positive impact within my community. Luckily, I was still in my costume!
The hospital gave me candy and the night was underway. As I heard the joyous sounds of kids coming down the hall, I mentally prepared for all the good I would be doing. A large group of kids entered my room and yelled “Trick or Treat!,” to which I promptly and happily offered them a ceremonial hairball. They were not pleased, and I couldn’t figure out why. They all, one by one, started crying.
Despite what the kids think, I know I helped them a lot. Overall, these were all great spooky season activities, and you should try them not just for yourself, but for others.